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Monday, January 30, 2012

A word from Germany
A bleak winter sun fights to make way through the white of clouds in the east. The frosty fields are covered by a thin layer of snow. A fierce wind is blowing off the Baltic sea, bringing the wind chill down to God-knows-how many degrees below freezing.
Northern Germany in late January was so far removed from my memory and now it feels like a shock. Yet I grew up in among this landscape, the wintry cold seems frightening now. I am standing here, shivering through the frosty days with the coldness penetrating into my body. Is it the cold weather alone alone which makes me shiver, or is the fact that mother is gone contributing to it? I catch myself longing to be back in the California desert. What a selfish thought! There are duties and plights to be fullfilled right here.
We have mother´s funeral coming up on Wednesday, and guests from various parts of the country will be arriving. There will be that afternoon after the funeral to go through with. A gathering at the local restaurant with scores of people. It´s gonna be a hard day for all of us. Dad has been holding up so far, but there are days after that. Lonely days for Dad. The big house out on the country always seems so cold, and the winter is far from being over. Classical music is waftring through the house. It was HER kind of music, but it was also music I grew up with. It never before sounded like today.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Peter. I am so sorry this is such a hard time for you. And no you are not selfish in wanting to be back in the desert with Bea and Molly. That is just part of the circle of life. Harsh though it may be. Sending prayers your way for you and for your family.

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  2. our thoughts are with you at this sad time..so sorry for the loss of your mother..no matter how old we are it is still a diffcult time.

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  3. Our prayers and thoughts continue for you and your family during this difficult time.

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  4. So sorry for your loss. It is always a difficult time and perhaps more so when you when you return to s home left behind. I know it felt that way when we returned to the Netherlands in Dec for Annekes's mothers funeral.

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